Toxic Positivity

Last week I mentioned Toxic Positivity as a result of the philosophies contained in certain self-help books. This week we’re doing a deep dive on Toxic Positivity and how you can keep a good vibes attitude while still feeling your feelings and not dismissing the feelings of others.  

Toxic Positivity is when people assume that the only correct way to think or feel about any situation, positive or negative, is through positive emotions or thoughts. Of course, nothing is wrong with being an optimist. However, Toxic Positivity denies any thoughts or feelings that are not positive. Some signs that you may be engaged in Toxic Positivity are: 

A person is feeling guilt or shame for feeling Negative Emotions.

Invalidating the Negative Emotions you or other people are feeling by being dismissive of the genuine, honest feelings that are being felt or expressed.

Suppression of all negative emotions. 

All of these can lead to increased stress and social isolation, as well as an unwillingness to seek help for your problems from qualified professionals. 

If you have difficulty with Toxic Positivity, learning to accept the negative emotions of you and other people can be very hard. A possible solution is not to speak but merely listen to yourself or the person sharing their experience with you. Don’t try to rationalize or stop yourself or the other person from feeling your feelings as they come, or sit and vibe with the person trying to express their feelings. 

Negative emotions are a normal and healthy part of life. But, unfortunately, bad things happen, and not always for a reason. You don’t always need to be “strong,” and you don’t need to “choose” happiness when you’re feeling sad.

That’s all I have for this week. If you have any experience with overcoming Toxic Positivity, please share it in the comments. Until next time.