Sunday's Message: I Have Decided To Focus on Relationships
Sounds a little odd. We're not just talking about romantic relationships, really. We're talking about every relationship in your life. The ones between family members, friends, someone you're mad at, someone who wronged you, etc. Basically, every person you come in contact with on the regular.
"Relationships shape your life." Have you ever thought about that? I haven't. The minute Pastor Chris said that, I just sat there. I can remember plenty of moments where I've been unhappy with a friendship, a family member, or a significant other, and how it changed my mood. My mood determined how I saw that day and what happened. Different outlook, different outcome. Believe it or not, relationships are actually good for us!
I'm not saying that you never feel alone when you're in a romantic relationship or surrounded by people. It happens. I can think of celebrities who are constantly surrounded by people, but that doesn't mean they don't feel like the loneliest soul out there. No, they're good for us because they help mold us. The right ones even make us better. And before I hear a bunch of "I'm independent! I don't need anyone!" Yeah, stop right there. You're human. Everyone needs somebody encouraging them, teaching them, and loving them. Everybody wants somebody there, even if we don't all admit it.
Why do most of us continue to walk alone then? There's plenty of excuses I could come up with for that, but none of them are good. None are worth denying yourself a better and more fulfilling life.
There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end
to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. (Ecclesiastes 4:8)
Why Walk Alone?
Naivety: Some of us don't know any better.
Temperament: We claim that it's just not our style.
Fear
Past experiences: We've been hurt, and so now we're guarded.
Busyness
First of all, we need to get control of our schedules already! If you can't take time out to spend a few hours with your loved ones, something is wrong. Do you know all those friendships that ended after a rumor? The romantic ones that failed because of a lack of communication? Guess what? "The devil is working overtime to destroy your relationship, to burn that bridge of trust." We need to start working harder to keep all the good relationships in our lives going. I'm guilty of not working as hard as I should in all the relationships in my life. I'm not going to lie, but I know I can fix that. It's critical to my 2014 that I do this. So now we get into the how.
I Have Decided
The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in all its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
(1 Peter 4:7-11)
1. To nurture my important relationships.
… the whole body, supported and held together by its ligament and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow. (Colossians 2:19)
2. To restore my broken relationships.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil...If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (Romans 12:17-18)
This may be the hardest one of all, but do you remember how good it feels to fix something? Your sister's favorite teddy bear is falling apart, so you sew it back together. Your cousin broke their bike, so you work on making it even cooler than before. There's a vintage piece of furniture, but you work on making it look new again. Do you remember that feeling? Hold onto it and multiply it. That's what you'll feel when you mend those relationships. There's a difference between harmful and broken ones. You'll know the ones that need you back. Trust me.
And before you shoot this idea down, think about this: "the pain of an unresolved conflict is greater than the pain to solve it." So stop keeping records and start erasing them. Start building stronger relationships now instead of waiting until they fall apart. Most importantly, forget revenge. Nobody wins in the long run.
3. To sever any harmful relationships. To figure out if you have one of these relationships, ask yourself this: "is this relationship getting me closer to God?" If you feel like you're being ripped away from God, you may need to re-evaluate the situation. It could be that you two aren't open about religion, or it could be that the other hates everything about it and doesn't want anything to do with it. If the relationship is causing you physical or mental harm, sever the relationship if you are being abused. You deserve better. This goes for romantic involvement and other relationships. Nobody has a right to abuse you. "Show me your friends; I'll show you your future."
A mirror reflects a man's face but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses. (Proverbs 27:19 GN)
He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. (Proverbs 13:20)
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness
have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)
The gist of all that? "Bad company corrupts good character." The people you surround yourself with determine a lot more than you think. Evaluate every relationship and make sure you're not doing more harm than good.
4. To initiate some meaningful relationships.
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage
one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25)
Yes, we have to initiate relationships. Do good things come to those who wait? Well, better things come to those who go for it. Think about all the people you look up to and aspire to be. You can't sit here and tell me they just sat waiting for something their entire life. Yeah, you know they went out there and went to every opportunity that benefited them. You have to see relationships as another piece to your puzzle. As another person who will bring you joy and happiness and help you fulfill your life in ways you couldn't do alone. "Teams produce more than individuals do." Essentially, every person in your life is part of a team. Your family. Your friends. So, what relationships do we need in our lives, according to Pastor Chris?
Relationship with a church. If you don't have one yet, pick a church around your area and attend a few services. Pastor Chris says he asks everyone to give him a year if they come to Highlands. I'm saying give it a few months. You'll know in your heart if something doesn't feel right but don't go in with a preconceived notion or negative thoughts. Those will ruin your experience.
Relationship with a small group. People who share a common interest of yours and who you feel like you can truly share things with. I know Highlands has it where you can look up interests, days of the week, gender, etc. Check to see if your church has one and get involved. It doesn't hurt to try.
Relationship with a team. You know I'm all about Highlands Kids and serving on the Dream Team! Again, check with your church to see if you can help out or start a team there. You could change lives in the process!
Relationship with God. Are you in love with God? It took me 23 years to get to that point, but I know I am. He brings so much joy and blesses me every day. How do you feel?
Love God, love people, and
positive vibes only,
Cydney Irby